The Princess and the Pinch
by JaneJive
Summary: After the events of the season 1 finale. Clarke is tormented by dreams of those she's lost. Bellarke.
1. Chapter 1

Clarke couldn't be sure how long she'd sat staring at the white walls of her cell in Mount Weather, knees tucked up to her chest, chin resting on her hands as she watched the door. She'd grown tired of Monty's attempts to communicate through sound proof glass, two doors and a hallway, opting instead to sit quietly and assess her situation. It couldn't have been more than three days since she woke up in quarantine and still she had seen no one but Monty, passing out from exhaustion every night and waking to fresh food and water and a few fresh holes where blood had been taken. She had decided not to sleep tonight, to sit up and wait, to see the face of her captors and demand answers, demand freedom, demand to see her friends.

She had other reasons to avoid sleep, more pressing reasons that she feared threatened her sanity.

Dreams.

If you could call them that, nightmare was a more fitting description but still the word didn't quite cut it. She deemed them her punishment for all the mistakes she'd made since she stepped off of the drop ship. Ofcourse it's easy in hindsight to reprimand yourself for decisions that made perfect sense at the time. They needed to go to Mount Weather to find food just like they needed to hunt when all the camps food supply went up in flames, Murphy had to be punished for his crimes when Clarke believed he'd committed them, they needed to abandon camp and head to the ocean when the Grounder army was on route. It all made so much sense then, how could it all play over in her head now and cause her physical pain, knowing she killed them, was responsible for the deaths of so many.

Every night when sleep overtook her they came. Sometimes her mom or her dad or Finn, even Raven who Clarke was sure must have died from her injuries by now, unsure if the Mountain men would bother to save the life of a stranger that may be a danger to them. Sometimes Murphy would sit on the bottom of her bed and remind her of her mistakes, ask her why she cared that Wells was dead when she treated him so badly, avoiding him at every opportunity until he was dead and she'd never see him again or get the chance to make up for believing the lies he told for her.

When Wells comes to torture her he doesn't speak, just stands in the corner, blood dripping from an open wound in his neck and eyes staring, disappointed, in her direction, she thinks that's because he loved her, never said a bad word to her, she couldn't even imagine him being mean in her wildest fantasies.

The others were far more vocal, Raven and Finn, pissed that she let them die, pissed that she broke them up and didn't even want Finn in the end. Charlotte and Atom and the little Grounder girl she just couldn't save. They all came and sat in her room and berated her cruelly till she woke in the morning and kicked her tray of food at the wall in frustration.

No, she wouldn't sleep tonight, she wouldn't see the faces of those she'd lost and wake to another day of white walls and sterile white trays. Even as her eyes started to droop and her head felt heavy she watched the door intently, afraid of what sleep would offer.

"This is on you Princess"

Bellamy never says anything new when he visits her in her dreams and she's sure this is the worst punishment. She'd gladly sit and pass the hours debating their past decisions, gladly watch his chest rise and fall in frustrated breaths as he watched her, giving her that 'privileged idiot' look he often threw her way when their views differed. But no, he wasn't really there after all and seemed the most incorporeal of the lot, playing like one of the old movies they watched on the Ark, just a memory of a man who died to save his people, another piece of world history from Earth, where everything seemed so tragic and unfair and yet somehow beautiful.

"Princess"

Her eyes fluttered open and brows immediately knit together in frustration as realization dawns, she's fallen asleep and there in the doorway that she had only moments before stared down in determination, was Bellamy Blake. She let a solitary tear slip down her cheek and drip from her chin to her hands where they still hugged her knees, clenching her teeth and lowering her eyes.

"Clarke" he said closing the door behind him quietly and looking out through the window before turning back to her.

"I'm sorry okay. I fucked up and now you're all dead but there's nothing I can do about it now so why torture me? Leave me alone."

She doesn't recognise her own voice, defeated and dejected and dry, croaked out between sobs. He crouches down by her bed and looks up at her, eyes dark with what looks like confusion. She can't help but stare at how beautiful he is, even smeared with dirt and ash and blood, still a warrior, still dead.

"Clarke, we don't have much time, we-"

"We have all the time in the world" she replies in a whisper, eyes still glistening as she reaches out a hand damp with her own tears and caresses his face. He flinches at her touch at first then leans into it, letting her cup his cheek and stroke a thumb across freckled skin.

"I miss you, I can't do this without you"

"I'm right here princess"

"But you won't be" her bottom lip trembles and more tears get free as he smiles warmly and moves closer to her, crowding her so that their faces are an inch apart, she thinks she can feel his breath on her cheek but knows that isn't possible.

She bends her head back enough to move her lips closer to his, closing her eyes before they make contact and…

"Ouch!"

Her eyes snap open and he's grinning at her devilishly, his fingers tight around the skin of her upper arm, pinching painfully.

"You're not dreaming Princess, or communicating with the dead or making any sense at all. Now get off your ass, we've got people to save."


	2. Chapter 2

"Bell… Bellamy?"

Clarke's mouth drops open in awe as her eyes scan his face, taking in for the first time the purple shadow of a bruise along his jaw and the stark red of a cut splitting his bottom lip, he must have caught her staring and slowly brushes his tongue across the cut, she absentmindedly licks her own lips as her eyes seem to glaze over and the room goes foggy.

"Not the rescue party you were expecting?"

"Hmm?" he raised an eyebrow at her and she quickly shook herself out of her stupor, feeling all of a sudden confused with the affect he was having on her body.

"Bellamy, how are you alive? I closed the door on-"

"Finn, he pulled me into the trees and brought me to Lincolns cave, Octavia patched us up, she's learnt a lot from watching you" he sounds proud when he talks about Octavia, a small smirk gracing his lips and there's a fondness in his tone as he addresses her, like she didn't almost kill him to save herself.

"Finns alive?" she's crying again and he's losing his patience with her, had she really lost her mind in just three days?

"Yes princess, Spacewalker lives to spoil another day, I'm a little more concerned with the two of us right now, so…" he stands and pauses to look at her, raking his eyes down her body in a detailed once over.

"Are we walking or am I carrying you?"

"I'm fine Bellamy" she says, standing and lifting her chin in her best attempt to look strong.

"Brave princess" he chuckles, turning away and striding back to the door.

Clarke lets go of a breath she's been holding since he pinched her and runs her finger tips over the soft skin of her arm, now red and sore. She bites down on her bottom lip and tries to focus on the pain, 'this is real right? I couldn't feel pain in a dream?'… Her heart thumps loud in her ears and she doesn't voice her concern but when she looks back to Bellamy, who she's half expecting to be gone, never there to begin with, he looks back at her knowingly.

"Clarke, I need you with me on this okay? You need to focus"

She clenches her fists at her sides, nails biting into the soft flesh of her palms.

"I'm here" she replies and joins him at the door.

"Monty across the hall, Jasper next door and Miller on the other side, I didn't see Raven…" he lets a breath out through his nose and seems to be contemplating something before he continues.

"I saw Murphy"

There's a weighted silence between them, both peering out the small round window to avoid making eye contact with each other.

"Bellamy, if we can get any of our people out, we have to take that chance. We don't know what the Mountain Men want and…"

"He tried to kill me and Jasper and threatened to kill Octavia, he said you were dead and that he was going to lead our people…"

"Most of our people are dead." She sighed and pushed her hair back off of her face where it was beginning to stick in the sweltering heat of the cell. He looked at her then in that way that he always did when a decision had to be made and neither one of them wanted to make the call, eyes pleading like a puppy, looking for direction.

"If we can, we'll get him last, but only if it doesn't put the rest of us at risk"

Bellamy nods and puts his hand on the handle of the door, he takes a deep breath before-

"Is it just you?"

"Disappointed?"

"And you don't have a gun?"

"Sorry princess, you kinda blew up my gun… and my back-up now that you mention it"

Her eyes drop to the ground, unable to look at him and he blinks a few times in frustration, why can't she just shut up and be rescued.

"I didn't mean that, you did what you had to do… I would've done the same thing, Clarke this rescue mission is time sensitive…"

"I get that Bellamy but what's the plan? You're unarmed and outnumbered, how did you even get into my cell?"

"I uh… I killed a Mountain Man and took his key card and um… created a distraction…"

Clarke quirked an eyebrow at him, a little uneasy with the tinge of concern crossing his features before he opened the door and they quickly got to work releasing their people from their cells. The relief on their faces matched Clarke's as they took in the sight of their leaders, both alive and holding on tight to what small control they held over the situation. Jasper looked about to burst when he saw Monty, wrapping his arms around him so tight he definitely cut off his blood supply then turned to his surrogate parents and afforded them the same treatment. Under any other circumstances Clarke would have shook him off rather quickly and gotten down to business but she buries her head in his white shirt and breathes him in, desperate to feel something solid in her hands.

"It's been three days" Bellamy growls, shaking out of Millers grasp and steaming ahead to look down a corridor.

"Wait where's Raven?" asked Jasper and Clarke met Bellamy's eyes questioningly.

"I don't know, maybe they didn't take her but she's not on this floor, guys, I let the Grounder Princess out of her cell and gave her a spear…"

"What?!" Clarke yelped and Jasper shuffled quickly so that he was standing between his two leaders, head bobbing back and forth to each end of the corridor to check for incoming spears.

"Bellamy, what the hell were you thinking?"

"That she'd keep them busy while we snuck out the back door, why, Clarke, do you have a better idea? Please, I'd love to hear it" He crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head to the side, waiting for her answer but before they could continue their argument a loud alarm unlike anything they'd heard on the Ark, started to boom through the halls and without any need for verbal reassurance they all set off in a sprint, following after Bellamy who Clarke just hoped had some sense of what he was doing.

"Bellamy!"

"Keep moving Princess"

"Give me the key card"

"He's not worth the trouble!"

The rest of the group run past them and continue on down a long hall while Clarke stands determined by a cell door behind which Murphy stands, beaten and bloody.

"Give me the card!"

Bellamy grunts disapprovingly and swipes a card across a censor on the wall and the door pings open, Murphy steps out and opens his mouth to speak before Bellamy punches him clean in the face and he falls in a heap on the floor.

"Bellamy what the hell?!"

"Let him save himself, that's more than we owe him" he replies and takes Clarke's wrist in a tight grip, dragging her behind him to reach the others.


	3. Chapter 3

It had barely been a month since one hundred and one teenage delinquents landed on Earth, Clarke can still hear their cheers, Octavia's triumphant yell of 'We're back bitches!' that started them on a path of destruction. Now, setting up a temporary camp for the night, she looked around at the few sorry survivors, Jasper, Monty, Miller and Bellamy; that's it, that's all they could save from those long winding white corridors that seemed endless and empty. With Finn and Octavia that made seven survivors out of one hundred and two, if you count Raven, should she count Raven? Should she count Murphy as a survivor since she didn't see him come out the doors before they disappeared into the forest and ran till their legs couldn't carry them any further?

'Don't think too much Princess, you'll get wrinkles' says Bellamy as he sits down on the blanket she's laid out for herself a few feet away from the others.

"I wish wrinkles were the worst of my worries' she replies, looking over at the others as they solemnly arrange their beds for the night. They should be overjoyed, reunited with their people after truly believing they would never see them again. Clarke is overjoyed to have Bellamy back and to know that Finn survived too but she can't stop thinking about Raven, about all of their friends who died fighting for her and either got obliterated for their trouble or left behind because rescuing them was too much hassle.

'We're alive' Bellamy gestures to the others, 'they're alive, we're lucky not to be Grounder barbecue right now so let's not question it, get some sleep'

He moves to stand up but stops when he sees the look of fear and worry that colors her features.

'The Grounders won't come this close to Mount Weather, what's left of them anyway and the Mountain Men are probably still busy-'

"It's not that, I'm okay Bellamy, go to sleep" she replies, turning her face away from him and pretending to be consumed by the view of the dark forest to avoid looking him in the eyes. He looks at the back of her head, hair as golden as it had been when they first arrived, washed clean of their past sins, he can't help but smile.

"Back in your cell, you thought you were dreaming"

"A lot's happened, I haven't been getting a lot of quality sleep lately"

"You have a lot of dreams about me then Princess?"

She turns her head back to him and he's smirking, trying to make light of their horrific situation.

"I thought you were dead"

"You thought Finn was dead too"

"I dreamt about Finn too" she answers with a smile, thinking it will put an end to his smug questioning.

"Me you and Spacewalker huh, how did that work, was Raven there too?"

"Everyone was there Bellamy, Wells, Roma, my mum..."

"Oh gross Clarke!" he laughs and she shoves his shoulder, pushing him into a half laying position, propped up on one shoulder.

"It wasn't like that"

They smile at each other for a moment, just basking in the unlikely and miraculous presence of the other.

"I thought I killed you… made the call that killed you… and Finn. I thought I'd never see you again and in my dreams, you…"

"Kissed you"

"No!" she yelled indignantly and frowned at his smirking face.

"You tried to kiss me back there"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did, you arched your back and tilted your head and closed your eyes…"

"No I did not. I was trying to block you out and wake myself up"

"Don't lie Clarke, we're all adults here. You thought you were dreaming and so what the hell, may as well enjoy it"

She's incredulous, having blocked out the memory herself since she realized he was really there. She'd never tried to kiss him in her dreams before, he was never so real… and so what if she had felt a tiny blush of lust during a moment of weakness, she was practically out of her mind in that room and couldn't be held responsible for any of her actions.

Her eyes drift to his lips again before she regains her composure and looks back to the forest, she hears him moving and assumes he's getting up to leave when he speaks so close to her ear it makes her jump.

"Doesn't quite seem fair, you get to kiss me…"

"Dream on Bellamy"

"No Clarke, you dream on but if you ever want the real thing…"

She starts to turn her head towards him as he moves away and stands up, strutting away towards the others.

"You know where I am" he tosses over his shoulder before starting up a conversation with Miller, without so much as a smile to let her know he's just kidding, teasing her to rile her up and help push away the guilt and doubt and memories of loved ones lost.


	4. Chapter 4

They were on the Ark, that's how she knew she was dreaming. Back in her small grey cell of solitary confinement, except now the sketches on the walls and on the floor resembled the beautiful landscapes and curiosities she'd witnessed on the ground. Bright shining blue butterflies and two headed deer and trees and waterfalls she'd tried to picture on the Ark but never quite got right. Now they were so clear she felt she could touch them, feel the rough bark or cool water, smell the grass. She knew she was dreaming but stayed wrapped warm in the covers on her cot, nuzzling her cheek further into her pillow that had never really been that comfortable in real life.

"Don't get too comfortable Princess, you know you can't stay"

"Don't, you'll spoil it" she hums contentedly reaching out a hand, inviting him to join her.

"I can't" he laughs and it rumbles in his chest, sounding more like a wild animal than a man.

"Yes you can, your Princess demands it" she replies and rolls onto her back, patting the empty space beside her.

When she reaches back into the space her arms find Bellamy Blake, tall and lean and warm, she runs the palm of her hand down his chest and rests it on his abdomen, feeling him flinch underneath her touch as though she'd hit a sensitive spot beneath the cotton of his uniform.

"This what they call a punishment amongst the privileged? Beats floating I guess"

"Hey" she shushes him, moving her head to his shoulder and feeling him press his lips to her hair.

"We're not talking about floating"

"Then what are we talking about?" he asked, voice soft as though spoken through a smile.

"We're not talking at all" She replied, exhaustion pulling at her, telling her whole body to just let go and relax into this feeling of safety, to not ruin the fantasy with words that would no doubt bring back memories. The Ark was home, Bellamy Blake was her safety net, warm and hard beneath her hands, he smelt like fire, like embers and smoke and she refused to remember why.

"Oh no? Then perhaps we're doing something else"

"Like what?"

"I don't know Princess, it's your dream"

Her eyes fluttered open on a too smug Bellamy and the bright light of a new morning. Her muscles ached painfully as she tore herself up and away from the thin blanket and lumpy forest floor.

"Mmm? What?"

"What?" he asked, playing dumb and holding out a skewer of some unidentifiable meat.

"How long has everyone else been awake?" she asked, a little embarrassed with herself and the contents of her subconscious when she wasn't completely in control of it.

"Only a couple of hours, Miller and Jasper went breakfast hunting and Monty's scouting the perimeter" he replied, sitting down next to her and tucking into his own meal.

Clarke sighed and closed her eyes as she chewed on a huge mouthful of badly cooked animal. The simple pleasures of life had grown a lot simpler since landing on earth, who knew her heart would one day leap for bad food and pencils; seaweed was probably the strangest addition to her wish list.

"We'll make it to Lincolns cave tonight, regroup and start making plans to get the rest of our people".

His confidence inspires her, makes her square her shoulders with a little more authority, lift her chin a little higher, yet she still can't make eye contact and say she believes their people are still alive. She can't let herself hope and be wrecked again when they're all dead.

"We should pack up and leave now"

"We've got some time, we'll move quicker after a good meal"

"No Bellamy, if any of our people are still alive back there we can't waste time, we don't know what they're doing with them"

She stands, swallowing her last bite of breakfast and wipes her hands down her jeans.

"Alright" He says, standing and towering over her, a little too close.

"If my Princess demands it"

Her mouth drops open a little at her own words repeated back to her and the closeness of his stupid smiling face and eyes glistening with mischief.

"Clarke! Bellamy! There's a group of mountain men headed this way!" cries Monty as he returns to the group and she mentally thanks the bastards for interrupting Bellamy's attempts to make her blush.

…...

"Clarke!"

"Finn!"

Clarke wraps her arms around Finns neck and buries her face in his worn jacket. His arms circle her waist and she feels grounded, safe in Lincolns cave with the people she loves. She's trembling, barely present in the room as the others greet each other, relief and joy filling the confines of the small cave. She can't believe how many times she's feared for Finns life since they landed, when Lincoln poisoned him she was sure she'd lose him and when Anya had him taken away to be killed a part of her had broken, shattering to the ground.

"You need to stop doing this to me, I don't know how many more times I can lose you" she cried, tears dampening his jacket and voice shaking, barely audible. When she pulls away the rest of the group are looking at them, except Bellamy who seems unusually interested in his shoes.

"Octavia, god I'm so glad to see you" Clarke sighed with a smile, pulling the petite brunette into a hug.

"You too Clarke, I'm glad you didn't get murdered by Grounders" she replies with an inappropriate laugh and the mood lightens a smidge before the inevitable question drags them all back down again.

"Where's Raven?"

"I…" Clarke starts but doesn't quite know how to finish. Where was Raven? She'd definitely been alive when they left the drop ship after barbecuing the Grounders, surely the Mountain Men hadn't left her to die. It was just too horrible to contemplate.

"Clarke?"

Finns eyes searched her face and she turned away, a little wobbly on her legs.

"What do you care Spacewalker? Thought you wanted Clarke now? Oh wait, that was before Raven came down right? Now you want Raven… oh wait-"

Bellamy moved so that he stood between Finn and Clarke, bobbing his head from side to side with each turn of his little tirade.

"What's your problem Bellamy?!" Finn spits, trying to move past him to reach Clarke where she's leaning against a wall, nails digging into the stone till she thinks they'll break off.

"Guess I just don't like you Spacewalker"

"That's enough! Finn I don't know where Raven is, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry but we're going back to Mount Weather with a plan and if she's there-"

"If she's there? Where else would she be?!"

"Dead Finn, she might be dead and that's not Clarke's fault"

Bellamy looks ready to kill and Clarke can't quite focus enough to figure out how they got here.

"I never said that it was!"

"Seemed like you were implying that it was, Ravens not Clarkes responsibility, she might be your responsibility but you kinda fucked that up didn't you"

"Really starting to regret saving your life Bellamy" replied Finn in a huff before he stormed the short distance to the other side of the cave and sat down abruptly.

"Ookay, did we miss something?" asked Monty awkwardly as Clarke shook her head, exasperated, and left the cave.

"Clarke!"

"Leave me alone Bellamy"

Clarke reached a solid enough looking tree and slumped to the floor, leaning her back against it and looking up at the darkening sky.

"He's got some nerve" huffed Bellamy, sitting down opposite her so that their boots touched before she moved her legs further away.

"You've got some nerve"

"What? He was-"

"Worried Bellamy, he was worried about the woman that he loves and I'm worried too, I can't bare to think that Raven's out there afraid or in pain… alone"

"Clarke-"

"No Bellamy! Don't try to cheer me up or distract me, this isn't a dream, this is reality and our friend is missing! I can't believe I'm actually hoping she's dead because it's better than the alternative"

Clarke feels tears streak her face for the hundredth time in the last two days, she's still looking up at the sky when she feels a warm hand grip her hip and as she dips her chin to look at him his lips collide with hers and his tongue takes advantage of her shocked expression to dip inside her mouth and brush against her own.

It feels like an eternity, a soft, warm, tingling eternity before he pulls away and she realizes her hands have fisted into his shirt and she's tugging him closer to her. His eyes are searching hers for something, maybe consent to continue or even recognition that she knows what's going on or where they are or even who the hell he is but he gets nothing. She's in shock. Her breathing is laboured, her pupils have blown so wide her once blue eyes are almost black and her gaze heated. She feels a tug between her legs, like her body knows what it wants even before she does and she still hasn't released his shirt.

"Princess?"

"Nnn?" she whines, her brows knitting in concentration and her eyes glues to his lips that tasted of blood and felt like torture. He chuckles and brushes a loose stand of hair away from her face before smoothing the creases on her forehead away with his thumb.

"Are you alright? Surely it takes more than a kiss to stun Clarke Griffin"

"More than a kiss?" she mumbles, leaning into him again.

He sits back on his heels and wraps his hands around hers to loosely detach them from his clothing, finally drawing her attention to his eyes.

"Sorry Princess, I think the last few days have hindered your ability to give consent"

"What?"

"I'm much more agreeable in your dreams aren't I? At your beck and call, whatever my Princess demands?" He laughs again and looks down, almost like he's embarrassed by the actions of her dream version of him.

"Consider yourself well and truly distracted"

Before she can stop him or even think, let alone say anything, he's up and gone, disappearing back into the cave and she's half considering taking care of herself right there, out in the open by a fucking tree, because that has got to be the hottest thing that has ever happened to her.


	5. Chapter 5

"So that's it huh? I risk my life to come down here and help you, saved your ass countless times and now you're done with me? Used me up, nothing left to squeeze out for yourselves so just forget about me, cozy up with my boyfriend and move on."

Ravens lying on the floor of the drop ship surrounded by a pool of her own blood, eyes glaring up at Clarke with attitude and a tinge of sadness, lip quivering against her will to remain composed.

"Yanno they're torturing me right? That's if I'm not already dead. Maybe they're performing lab experiments or testing Grounder poisons" she struggles to pull herself up, leaning against the makeshift table where Clarke performed far too many operations for the few days they'd been on Earth.

"You're not dead Raven, I don't believe that and we haven't left you behind"

"Really? You said you'd pick me first remember? Looks to me like you picked yourself and you got everything you wanted, my boyfriend included"

Clarke could hear the screams of the Grounders outside, smell the charred flesh, she looked down at her hands, covered in ash and blood, chaos she constructed.

"I'm sorry" she whispers, barely audible as she struggles to breathe evenly. "I don't want Finn, I want you-"

"Shush Princess we don't want Spacewalker getting jealous"

Clarke had really had enough of this - talking in her sleep and waking up with Bellamy standing over her - shit. Yes, that was definitely more of a burden than the dreams, sharing her most intimate thoughts with a sarcastic jackass who felt no shame in using them against her.

"I wasn't talking to you" she replied rubbing her eyes and pulling herself up to lean against the wall of Lincolns cave. The rest of their rag tag group of survivors were crowded down the other end talking animatedly about the Ark, what each of them had seen the night it fell from the sky and whether or not there could be survivors. Clarke for one had no hope on the subject, grown up past the point of believing in miracles she didn't have the strength to believe her mother could be alive or that anyone was coming to save them.

"Oh? Then who's the lucky guy?"

"Raven"

"Nice"

"Shutup" she sighed, rubbing the back of her neck and squinting her eyes, the pain of sleeping on a hard stone floor catching up to her.

"We're going back to Mount Weather"

"Soon" He replied, sitting down opposite her, his back to the rest of the group and the only source of light so that his face was cast in shadow, only the glint of his eyes visible in the dark.

"Today"

"You're still weak, so are the others and we don't know what we're dealing with yet"

"When will we know what we're dealing with? Did you reinvent the internet, find a database with pictures and blueprints-"

"We'll do some recon, scout the area, maybe we can capture-"

"That will all take too long, we never should have left that place without them and now we're going back to fix our mistake"

"You mean my mistake" He states bluntly and she squints to see his expression.

"I didn't say that" she replies softly and she's shocked at her own bodies sudden desire to reach out to him, comfort him in some way.

"No you're right, I fucked up, I searched the halls until I found you and then I stopped, I couldn't risk getting caught and I had what I came for-"

"You came for all of us"

He laughs then and she shuffles uncomfortably, wishing she could see his face more clearly or that they weren't trapped in such a small space.

"Yeah cos I just couldn't live without Miller"

"Clarke"

Octavia skips up behind Bellamy and rests her hands on his shoulders and she shuffles from one foot to the other, smile bright like snow and eyes alight with fire, Clarke can't help but smile back at her, grateful for the passion the girl brought to just being alive and on Earth and not cramped under the floor on the Ark.

"Lincoln thinks we should start travelling soon if we're going to reach the ocean and the other clans-"

"Tell Lincoln we'll let him know when we're ready to leave" says Bellamy, scowl forming between his eyebrows and lips tightening into a thin line. Obviously he hadn't warmed to the Grounder dating his sister very much, even if he did trust him to take care of Octavia, he didn't want anyone getting the wrong idea of who was in charge.

"God Bell lighten up, he knows more about-"

"Sure O, thanks" he says dismissively, waving her off as he stands and holds out a hand for Clarke who takes it, surprised at how large and warm it is against her own small cold palm.

"You wanna go play hero, fine, I'd like to avoid the trek with Tarzan-"

"Bellamy" Clarke scolded in an attempt to hide her smile.

"Let them go make sand castles, we'll go get Raven"

"I'm ready when you are" came a voice Bellamy had heard enough of from over his shoulder and Clarke smiled, choosing to worry about the tensions boiling between the three of them later and enjoy the fact that they're actually doing something now.

"You're not invited Finn" said Bellamy, turning around and staring down Spacewalker in his best attempt to be intimidating.

"It's not your choice Bellamy, Clarke wants me to come and like you said, Ravens my responsibility"

"Great, so let's go" said Clarke quickly, striding past the two of them towards Jasper and Monty to fill them in on the plan and wish them luck on their journey. She hoped she'd be seeing them all again soon and that somehow, against all odds, they could find somewhere safe, somewhere to call home.


	6. Chapter 6

Finn talked with Clarke in that familial way they had quickly fallen into after meeting on the drop ship and becoming fast friends, it was like none of the events of the past few weeks had ever happened and like Bellamy wasn't even there, not that Bellamy made any effort to prove otherwise, trailing at the back of their small group in brooding silence. It wasn't that Clarke would have preferred the company of her co-leader, she loved Finn and was overcome with relief that he was alive and well, falling quickly back into step with her, but she couldn't help the way she felt, she couldn't forget everything that had passed between them and she longed for the comfortable silence she often shared with Bellamy.

"-just wish we had a better understanding of them, what are their motives, why did they take you and why are the Grounders so afraid of them?"

"They're advanced, they have weaponry the Grounders probably don't even understand, maybe their fears are unfounded, naïve even, maybe they're just afraid of the unknown and haven't had many dealings with the Mountain Men"

"You never saw a face? Anything?" Finn turned and watched her face closely, as if her expression might be telling of something she won't reveal herself. She's vaguely aware of his distrust in her story, and she understands to a certain extent, why would they take them and lock them up, feed them and treat their wounds but never approach them, but on the other hand she's slightly miffed that he'd question her, considering the circumstances.

"Nothing, we were in quarantine so maybe they were afraid they'd catch something from us, I was always unconscious when they brought food or did tests" she replied, biting her lip to stop it quivering, afraid to wonder what they did to her while she was out.

"Are you even following the trail Spacewalker? I haven't seen you look at the floor in over an hour" said Bellamy, now at Clarkes side, his voice taking on an edge of irritation she's now very familiar with.

"I don't need to follow a trail, I remember the way from when I showed it to you last time" Finn replied, challenging Bellamy back and standing a little taller.

Clarke was sick of boys and their egos, she'd barely had contact with the opposite sex on the Ark, besides Wells, who may as well have been a girl in her eyes, she was very sheltered and she longed for those strictly female days again.

"If you get us lost-"

"You wanna give it a go Bellamy? By all means lead the way"

"I never claimed to be a tracker-"

"Then give it a rest already, we're nearly there anyway" Finn started ahead of them expecting Clarke to catch up to him but she fell back, adopting Bellamy's pace much to his delight.

"Was he less of a pain in the ass before? I seem to remember tolerating him more easily" he said under his breath, shooting her a playful grin that she didn't return.

"And I seem to remember you being less of a jerk… oh wait no, this is nothing new"

"A jerk?" he laughed, holding his chest in fake offence.

"Jeez Princess you wound me"

She quirked an eyebrow at him and twisted her lips into a tight smile, having none of his shit.

"And what about you Clarke, are you the same girl that stepped off the drop ship?"

He meant no offence, his voice light and humorous, just making conversation, but the words stung and the answer felt clogged in her throat.

No, she wasn't the same girl. Clarke Griffin of the Ark had died like those poor bastards that followed Finn out of their seats during landing or maybe she had died earlier, when her father was floated and her entire life turned upside down, locked away from civilisation. It almost made sense, that all of this, everything that had happened since had been a fantasy, trapped in some purgatory existence, doomed to repeatedly fail her people like she had failed her family.

"Clarke"

"Hmm?" she asked, pulled out of her thoughts by his hand wrapped around her upper arm. His eyes were soft and intent on hers, a look of understanding alight in them, a feeling they shared, a knowing.

"I saw you once before the drop ship, before your dad… You were reading a book in the rec room and I… you were pretty so you caught my eye and I couldn't help but hate you because you were Octavia's age and… you looked so care free."

She looks down, unable to meet his eyes, unsure how much longer she can shoulder the judgment of being one of the privileged when it had never been her choice and she had never treated any of them any different.

"I shouldn't have felt like that, I didn't know you, even then, you were like, sixteen… I bet I would've liked you if we'd met and you'd given me the time of day" he laughs and she looks back up at him, still unsure where he's going with this, Finn getting further and further away ahead of them.

"But now, since we landed, with everything you've been through… God Clarke you are amazing."

"W…What?" she mumbles, confused, his hand still wrapped around her arm, holding her closer to him, so close she can feel the heat of his body and can barely see anything in her peripheral vision.

"You're strong and level headed and quick, you always know what to do and you care, god you care so much, even for people like Murphy, even when you thought he killed Wells you tried to save him. You put up with all of my shit and continue to forgive me again and again… you are the best of us Clarke and that's why when I saw you at Mount Weather I was done. I wouldn't let myself believe you were dead when we were trying to get in there and when I saw you I just thought, I have to get you out and then everything would be okay"

He's rambling, holding both her arms now and holding her away from him, looking at her as if she's some beautiful piece of art he can't get enough of.

"Bellamy-" she tried to speak but she's not sure how to respond, thank you didn't quite cut it.

"Clarke, we're here" called Finn from the top of the hill he'd disappeared over and she shakes her head to clear the haze that had settled there. Her skins tingling all over and her mouth is hanging open until Bellamy gently lifts her chin with his thumb, his eyes glued to her lips as he licks his own.

"I don't think your dreams could live up to the reality of what I want to do to you."

A heat rises in her cheeks and he smiles, obviously noticing her blush.

"Raven first, get Finn off our backs then I'll show you how the low class do it"


End file.
